Absurdities
by Sofer
Summary: Mrs. Bedfordshire's take on the mysterious Alex Rider.


* * *

Hello, My dear people! This little idea popped in to say hello, so I thought I'd write it down before I forgot all about it. This is my very first fanfiction, so please tell me what you think.

Allons-y!

* * *

Mrs. Bedfordshire sighed.

It was only October, and she could already see what the main topic of conversation was going to be this year.

Alex Rider.

That boy was a mystery. Every time she thought she had him pinned down, he did something that completely changed her opinion of him. This annoyed her more than it should, because, being the school secretary, she had much opportunity to observe the students. She knew quite a bit about most of them, although this might have been more due to her nosiness than anything else.

Either way, if anyone needed to know any of the juicy gossip the school had to offer, Mrs. Bedfordshire was the one to ask. As a senior walked by the office, Mrs. Bedforshire ran over what she knew of him, if only to impress herself.

He was Andrew, the popular football player who always had a hoard of people, girls and boys alike, worshipping the ground he walked on. He had recently broken up with Kristin, his girlfriend of two weeks. Which was quite a while for him, considering how long he had dated all those other girls. He had also been a good friend of Alex…

Mrs. Bedfordshire sighed, again. Everything always somehow led back to Alex.

When he first came to the school at the age of seven, he had been the most normal little boy around. With fair hair and big, brown eyes, he was often victim to cheek pinching, hair-ruffling, and cries of, "OH, he's _SO_ CUTE!"

He had done very well in school. He was popular, with a nice group of friends, and had generally been a good kid. Polite, helpful, if a bit quiet. Never the center of attention, but never alone or outcast. Alex was always just _there_.

Which is why, when he started being _not _there, everyone from here to Timbuktu noticed.

Of course, they'd all had their little doubts and questions, even before Alex's long absences. For instance, why did the teachers never see his uncle, the one Alex always talked about and so very obviously adored? Why did a young American woman always come to the parent teacher interviews, instead of family? And, above all what had happened to Alex's parents?

These questions lingered at the back of everyone's mind, but they were always dismissed, because Alex was so supremely normal that it sort of canceled out anything less than normal. Besides, nobody wanted to cause a ruckus for no reason.

Now they weren't so sure.

_Now_, people were getting more curious. Nobody believed Alex's poor excuse of illness to explain his mysterious disappearances, and nobody besides Tom Harris had ever been to his house. So naturally, with Brookland being a generally boring school, teachers and students alike grabbed at this fresh, juicy gossip. Alex Rider became The Next Big Thing almost immediately, and Mrs. Bedfordshire could tell he wasn't exactly happy about that.

People ogled the poor boy in the halls. Girls giggled when he walked past. Hell, some students had even formed an "Investigate Alex Rider" club dedicated to (you guessed it!) investigating Alex Rider.

Mrs. Bedfordshire could hear them whispering now.

"I heard he was in a gang."

"No, no, that's what everyone thinks. He's obviously part of a hushed up American space investigation league that found aliens on the moon and don't want anyone else to find out about it because the aliens produce hundred dollar bills when they cough."

"Joey, are you mental? Rider is not part of an alien exploitation group. He probably witnessed a crime, so the police have to keep him hidden whenever the criminals come into this area for fear that they'll take revenge on him for ratting them out."

So on and so forth it went, everyday. But Mrs. Bedfordshire had long ago given up on figuring out Alex Rider. Now, she was content just to call him what he was. A mystery.

Although, some of the theories were really very amusing. Like the one about Alex being a spy! That really made her chuckle. Whatever he was, he certainly wasn't a spy.

The idea was so silly! Mrs. Bedfordshire left the school, laughing to herself at the absurdity of it all.

* * *

I know! I know! I'm sorry for the uber-pointlessness!


End file.
